Tombstones

So.....the man has chosen death by alcohol. I told him to write his epitaph and to know I am here if he chooses to live. So hard to let go, yet I must. Another man I know called me yesterday, wanting detox from his pain pill addiction. I gave him the numbers to call and will get him there if he chooses....if he chooses. I left him to ponder and write his own epitaph. Serious homework for a man who writhes to ask for help.

Dennis was a bright light. He came to my home in the late 70's. Southern boy with charm and charisma. Good looking lad who attracted women with ease. Dennis had a blackbelt in blackout drinking. One Halloween, he came home wounded and in serious pain. His drinking buddy drove the car in a ditch and Dennis tried to flag down a car on a blind curve while standing in the middle of the road. "Whump Whump" as the car ran over his legs. His buddy dragged the driver out of the car and beat the man. One of many head shaking memories of Dennis.

I watched him progress and digress over the years. A life fueled by alcohol. He came to see me at work one day knowing I had a couple of years clean and sober. He was sitting with his sixth and most recent drunk driving citation and wanted me to help him get into a treatment center. He came out a month later on fluffy pink cloud and flourished. I was proud of him. We talked a lot and went to meetings together, giving him a one year coin as time passed. He remarried and had a beautiful pregnant wife. Good job. A good friend with good friends. Life was good.

A bottle of whiskey and an old friend changed it all. A blackout event that cost him more drama than he could take, so he took his own life. I was there to clean up the messes he left. The service was small as he lay in a simple wood box that would fly in a cargo hold to Alabama, where is twin sister grieved the arrival. So many hostages......

There have been so many men die in my sobriety. The 12 Step axiom, "Some of us have to die, so the rest of us can live", is so simple yet complex. "I was just getting to know you.....getting to know all about you".

Loon

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If I can get through the day without condemning, criticizing or complaining, it's been a good day. If I don't give advice, it's been perfect. - Flloyd Ashcraft